


The Book of Scott

by DD7



Series: Recurring Nightmares [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Loss, Established Relationship, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2020-04-06 07:11:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19057774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DD7/pseuds/DD7
Summary: Part of my 'Recurring Nightmare' fanfiction, continuing from my last story 'Secrets and Suffering', Begining from the perspective of my own original character. Eventually crossing into the worlds of Holmes, Lestrade and Watson. All the characters deal with their own hell, looking for support in each other where they can find it, but of course, it takes some longer than others.





	1. What just happened?

**Author's Note:**

> Added an extra chapter to get Scott home, only a short one but includes panic and comfort.

…If meeting his brother is anything to go by, meeting my father is going to be worse. Now is not the time, definitely not the time to be throwing another thing at my dad. Shit. My dad… Scott, feels like he might pass out as he walks away from his sisters grave.. Shit, My sister… 

Scott makes it out of the graveyard and round the corner, before he almost passes out gasping for breath. The panic rushes into him so fast as he slumps against the wall, wondering briefly if a car had mounted the pavement and hit him. The world spins, this is all to much. He tries to breathe, but god does it hurt. Everything hurts, and he’s shaking so badly, he thinks he might throw up. … A dad he could handle barely, but a famous dad with a partner, and a kid. A dead kid. Why did he cry like that? Of her? Why not over me? How the hell can I be thinking about myself when my sister is lying dead in the ground? My sisters dead? My dads heartbroken? He doesn’t even know about me? Does he? Which is worse?... Shit shit… And its all to much. He vomits, falling onto the floor. Barely feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. He cant answer it, he cant think. 

He recognizes the vibration of his phone in his pocket, needing not to be alone, he finds the strength to answer it. But his throat still wont work and all he can do his sob. 

“Where are you? Baby?” A soft warm voice asks him. “I’ll come get you, whatever it is we can figure it out, just tell me where you are?”. No questions, he can here them in his tone but they’re not important. His safety, his happiness that’s what’s important. God how did he find a man like David, he certainly didn’t deserve him.

“The corner of Barlow Moore.” Scott rasps, barely suppressing another sob. 

“Five minutes, and I’ll be there. Five minutes sweetie. Just breathe.” He can hear the door opening and closing as David leaves there home. Its nothing more than a small studio flat, they can barely cover each months rent, but it's home, its there’s and it’s the only place he wants to be right now. 

“Babe, you still there?” He can hear the slight echo as the phone has connected to the hands-free device in the car, both secondhand devices of course. 

“I…” any chance at actual words dissolve into sobs. 

“Two minutes, sweetheart, two minutes.”

“H’rry, I can’t”.

“Just breathe… deep slow breathes babe… in and out…”

As the car approaches, Scott practically throws himself in front of it. Without even switching the engine off, David gets out of the car and wraps his arms around Scott. Who sobs only get louder as his almost passes out in his lovers' arms. 

“Whatever it is, I’m here. I’m right here.”

For a moment those words have the desired effect of mollycoddling Scott. Until he sees a limo drive past and he has to fight the urge to run after his father. Jesus.   
All he can do is bury his face in his lover's body, and try and breathe. 

“Come on lovely, let's get you home.” David mumbles kissing Scott on the head before guiding him to the car.


	2. Home is where the heart is, in part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A soppy one between Scott and David... bringing David up to speed on recent events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of drama, I just needed a little time to pass, to be honest.

Arriving home Scott is still in David’s arms. His cries softened almost completely in the car. But movement makes it real, and they get louder as they move towards their home. Through there front door and straight to their secondhand sofa, Scott collapses and almost screams purely from the air that rushes out of him as he hits the red clearly scruffy piece of furniture. 

As David goes to let go, only for a moment, to lock the door, to make them both safe from whatever this danger may be. Scott grips him harder. 

“Don’t… I don’t … please… I p-p-p-p-please…” and then there’s just sobs.

David hasn’t seen these sobs since they lost their little boy and the memory hits him so strong that it takes all his strength to not pass out from the shock.

“My little boy… I-I-I-I-I- want my baby. Please, I’ll do anything, please. Dee don’t let them take him from us, please. That’s our little boy… I- ….”

All he could do then was hold the man he loves more than anything in the world. While he fell apart over the loss of a baby, they didn’t even know they were having. All they could say was it was a boy… 

And now it’s the same, not because this situation is any worse, David would have to know what the situation was to know whether this is worse. And he dreads to think what could be worse than that. But because the love of his life is falling apart and he doesn’t know how to help, worse he doesn’t think he can. 

“Sweetie I’m just going to lock the door, okay?” David says in the calmest voice he can manage right now. “Then I’m going to come back and hold you, and when you’re ready, if you’re ready, you can tell me what happened. Okay?”

Scott whimpers a little, but lets go of David. “I… I’m sorry, I should have..” and he gasps struggling to breathe “I s-s-s-should have told you… you’d know what to do… you always know what to do. Why didn’t I just t-tell you.” The anger at himself, at the secret, at all of it, is clear in his voice. He starts to shake. 

“You have to breathe love” David says as if it's not obvious. “Just breathe” he whispers repeatedly as he pulls man he loves close to his chest. And the two of them curl around each other, in a silent prayer that maybe if they don’t move, maybe if they just stay right here, then whatever this is will just fade away. “I’ve got you. Whatever this is, I’ve got you.” And when Scott just sobs louder, David just pulls him closer. 

And when there’s no sound, and the shaking has almost stopped. Scott is finally able to tell David all of it. That his dead father is still alive. That he knows who his father is. That he has-had a sister and he went to her funeral. That James lied to him. He knows who his father is. His whole life is a lie. But now he KNOWS WHO IS FATHER IS. But he doesn’t know if his father knows who he is. 

By the time he’s done, Scott feels sick again and the room is spinning. If he wasn’t be held, he couldn’t be sure he was really here at all. 

If what David feels is shock, what Scott feels is utter terror and David knows the man he loves well enough to know this. But he doesn’t have the answers. Once again he doesn’t know how to fix this. 

“Shhhh… whatever happens, I’m here.”

“Don’t ever leave me. Don’t. I can’t…”

Scott does the only thing he can think of while holding Scott as tight as he dares, he pulls the blanket lying on the back of the sofa around them both. I guess we’ll be spending the night on here, huh? He wonders briefly to himself. Before he realises he supposed to be saying something, anything, to make this better.   
“I have you… shh love… Close your eyes and breathe.”

At some point, Scott passes out into a dreamless sleep from the sheer exhaustion of the day's events. David isn’t far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time jump between this chapter and the next, I'm not sure how long yet. But I'll let you know at the start of the next chapter.


	3. Mistakes are made worse when you don't remember them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott is left alone, he snaps, he can no longer wait to get in touch with Mycroft.

Scott isn’t sure he’s awake for a very long time. The gentle feel of hand rubbing up and down his back it feels like a dream. 

“mmm” he wakes up curled on the corner of there sofa, confused as to why. “What time is it?”.

“Way to early for you to be awake” David giggles, placing a kiss on Scotts forehead.

“Why am I awake then?” Scott asks closing his eyes.

“I have to go to work, I’m sorry. After everything…” Scott sighs. “I really wanted to stay, I just it’d be last minute I don’t think they’d be able to cover it.”

Everything that happened, the memory floods into him, for a split second its all happening again, the betrayal, the death, the loneliness, the answers, and he doesn’t know what to do with it all. “Its fine” Scott assures him, still lost in thought. 

“I can try calling in…” David answers stroking his lovers face. 

“No… no… you’ve wasted enough of time on me, and you have a job to do.” Scott assures David as he quickly sits up.

“Being there for the man I love will never be a waste” David replies kissing Scott in that way that’s almost to familiar, it feels like breathing. “I’m gonna call in” David decides out loud as he picks up the phone.

“No please don’t.” Scott replies. “I’ll be fine I promise. I’m just going to sleep the day away.”

“If you’re sure?”

“I’m sure” Scott mumbles with a little bit of extra sleepiness thrown into his words, just enough to convince David he’s still half asleep.  
“Okay love, I’ll be back in time for the appointment.” David answers with a quick kiss.

Oh lord I’d forgotten about that stupid appointment, why today.. Why…. All the thoughts come out as a sleepy mumbles, as Scott turns over and tries not for the first time recently to disappear into the bed. “Love you” he mumbles now actually so sleepy out before he here’s David reply. 

“Love you too sweetheart. See you later.”

 

Sometime later Scott stirs. Though he knows he shouldn’t, he still to asleep to stop himself doing it and for that he’s grateful, he’d never have the confidence to do it if he was awake. He texts Sherlock.

Hi Sherlock it’s Scott. I know I’ve only waited a day and this is going to seem really pushy but I really need to speak with Mycroft. I’ve tried to wait, I really have, but it’s really getting to me. I’m sorry to put this on you but could you please pass him my number. Thank you.

He sends the message, shoving his phone on the bedside table as fast as he possibly can, closing his eyes and forcing himself to go back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is taking me so long to write. So thank you all again for hanging in there and still being interested in this. It is going somewhere I just need time to pass (in the story) and the time to write (in real life). Hope you're enjoying this x


	4. The wrong brother, The right brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter to get Scott and his father (Mycroft) into the same room. Maybe now they might actually get to talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've waited so long and so patiently and all you get is this tiny chapter. I can only apologies.

It’s his phone ringing that pulls Scott from his sleep. Half asleep he’s answered the phone without even checking who it is. 

The voice on the other end sounds raw, exhausted, yet somehow still so strong and he recognizes it instantly.

“I don’t know why you keep contacting my brother, and what it is that you actually want with me, but I need you to terminate your attempts immediately!” The voice trys to sound so angry but it just sounds so very very said. 

To stop himself sobbing, Scott looks around the room, noticing the clock and the time after 3 am. It’s only then that he realizes David is sound asleep in the bed next to him. His exhaustion being evident it must have been the only reason the call didn’t wake him. 

Carefully, and half expecting the call just suddenly cut away as he does so, Scott pulls himself out of bed, and goes quietly to sit on the sofa, trying not to disturb David.  
“Well.” The voice continues sometime later, a forced level of strength behind it. 

“Why.” Scott starts to question before he has to breathe and try again. “Why are you ringing me.”

“Why are you contacting my brother? Why are you trying to contact me!”

“I…”.

“Where did you get my brothers number?”

“He gave it to me, the day before yesterday…..at the funeral.” For a second the other end of the line goes so quietly that Scott thinks Mycroft as hung up. He’s wondering what he should do now, when a small voice replies. 

“Why were you at the funeral?”

“I wanted to see you.”

“So you came to my child’s funeral.”

“It really doesn’t matter.” Scott lies to himself suddenly afraid of the anger in his father's voice. 

There's a defining silence, and just when Scott is sure that he has ruined things beyond belief before he’s even met his father. A firm and strong instruction comes before the line goes dead.

“The café on Brixton Street is 24 hours, can you meet me there in 20 minutes.”

10 minutes pass before Scott even registers there's no longer anyone on the other end of the line. He only has 10 minutes to go and meet his father, god his father. But he has to do it, he has to make himself get up, and go.

Go and meet his father because this might be his only chance.  
Kissing David before he goes, still dressed in his PJs just with shoes and a coat on, Scott quietly leaves the flat. His heart is beating so fast he’s afraid he’s not even going to make it there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that you've waited so long to get so little from me, but I am so grateful for your patience and that you're still reading this. I can promise you that the next chapter is going to be a big one, and if we're lucky, if that's the right word for it, Mycroft might learn who Scott truly is. 
> 
> Whatever happens, it will be a great read, I promise you that, though it might take a while to get it up here. It will be worth the wait. 
> 
> Thank you all so much, I have so much love for you all, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 2 will be "Who am I?" This will be Scott explaining what he can of the situation to David and the two of them deciding what to do next. 
> 
> Thanks for being patient with me, and reading this, hope you enjoy.


End file.
